God’s Love is BIGGER than Divorce

 by Guest Author and daughter- Sarah Barclay Gilliland

I was hurriedly unloading the dishwasher when the unmistakable release of air from a stressed-out five year old came from the direction of the dining room.  Head down, pencil poised, “This is tricky…” she sighs.  I walk over to the table and read the title of her assignment; “Draw a picture of your family”. My heart sinks.  I take a deep breath, gearing up to start one of our countless “well, lots of moms and dads are divorced” conversations, feeling my blood pressure rise at having to deal with conversation topics I never intended to have with my intuitive and sensitive little girl.  Ready to lash out at ‘uncaring’ curriculum developers that would make such a difficult request of my daughter….

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  But then, before I launch a word out,  Finley proceeds to say “I already have 13 people, this paper  just isn’t big enough!”  

  Her point of view pushed me into an instantaneous attitude adjustment!  My blood pressure went back to its resting state, my eyes welled up. What a beautiful family portrait.  Her dad and my dad holding hands; a list of names of cousins, aunts, uncles, a few close friends; the space already crowded with smiley stick bodies with spiky hair, dis-proportioned hips and funky shoe sizes; drawn by a little girl that’s heart is so full of love for her family, no 8 ½ x 11 paper could do it justice!   It made my heart as warm as the inside of my Ugg boots.  She didn’t even realize her attitude about family was so contagious, but all day, I thanked God for each person, each circumstance that brought us close, and each memory that’s being created.  I smiled at other “families” I ran in to that day.

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[Tweet “In our #pain and #brokenness, God is with us! Our life story isn’t over yet. #divorce”]

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As I shared this story with a friend, she said something that  made me pause- “Gosh, you’ve sure GIVEN her a great attitude”.  As hard as it can be to accept a compliment, I sat on that one for awhile.   “Well”, I thought to myself, “didn’t I INTENTIONALLY set out to give Finley a great attitude about family”?  (My mother is very intentional about inclusion too with regards to family- just read her “FRAMILY” blog J ).  Their statement was true, we’ve done our best to “grow” this attitude inside her.  Days when sibling rivalries are at their peak, we remind them “a brother/sister is a friend forever”- they hug it out and go on.  When different family members rotate picking up/dropping off, or fill-in at the last minute when plans change via text message.  We respond with something like “Isn’t it great how many people care about you?!”  We try to be a “no-blame” zone, not concentrating on the fact that plans often change because people failed to follow through.  Attitudes can be contagious- we know this with our kids, but sometimes we (I) forget to watch my attitude with other adults in my life.

[Tweet “God’s #love can #transform our broken #hearts and renew our #vision for the future. #hope”]

It’s not that Finley is oblivious to brokenness or dysfunction, of course she notices from time to time, but then we talk about it, hug it out and go on.   It was a great reminder to me that God wants me to go to Him when my outlook is “doom & gloom”, tell Him about it, let Him show me the other way of looking at things and then take His hug and take up a new attitude and move on.    Realizing that my daughter and I have grown and continue to improve our attitudes about circumstances was so energizing!  It was one of those small- but-mighty victories I will remember for a long time.

[Tweet “NOTHING can separate us from God’s #love- #divorce #hope”]

For a Biblical look at divorce and remarriage- click on this link- Does God Hate Divorce?

SURPRISING TREASURES:  a song by Frederik Lehman- There is NO PAGE BIG ENOUGH to write God’s love

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.

Refrain

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole.