Bethany came running out of the school to the car today.
“Mommy! Guess what? I had a fantastic day! I did school by myself! My para was sick and they didn’t give me anybody else. I did it on my own. I’m very proud of me!”
LOL! Wooohooo! Way to go Bethany!
As we’re planning Bethany’s 8th grade year, one of the requests we’re going to make is that they step back and allow Bethany to attend specials- Art, Music, Choir, Drama- by herself.
Without a para.
I mentioned it to them already and they seem a bit freaked out by the concept! (ok- really freaked out) but we know we want to try this in helping her achieve more independence.
[Tweet “Our kids need #chances to #learn and #grow, #fail and #succeed. #specialneeds”]
We reach milestones by stepping forward
Sunday, I had already changed into my pajama pants after church. A craving for popcorn erupted at 5:00pm. I certainly didn’t want to get changed to go to the store (yep- I am THAT old! a young person would go to the store in the pj’s and it wouldn’t even bother them 😉 )
Bethany piped up,
“Hey, mom. You drive me to Dillons and I’ll run in and get the popcorn.”
“By yourself?”
“Yep. Of course. I’ll even pay for it with my debit card.” (we recently opened a debit account to help teach Bethany how to keep track of the ebb and flow of her chore money as she takes responsibility to buy certain things.)
OK, then.
We jumped in the car. I drove to Dillons and I watched with incredulity as she sashayed her way in the front doors. One minute passed. Two minutes. Three min….. Wait- was that her at the self check out already?
It was.
She scanned the popcorn, swiped her card and lifted her bag with popcorn, high up in the air- Victory!!!
I started car dancing, mouthing, “Way to go Bethany!” and giving her thumbs up. She danced her way back to the car, smiling from ear to ear.
Giddy with excitement she said, “I always knew I could do that when you gave me the chance. I’m so proud of me.”
[Tweet “Sometimes we need to step back for our kids with #specialneeds, so they can #step up. #success”]
There are times we need to step back so they can take a step up.
And whether that makes us uncomfortable or not, that’s how they grow and learn.
Their failures highlight areas for growth. Their success affirms their independence and abilities.
I’m learning I don’t want to cripple Bethany by too much support. Why do I sometimes want to protect her from failure?
Because if I protect her from failing, I ensure she can’t succeed.
Stepping back- so she can step up.
Trusting that our steps are going to be directed by the Lord.
Surprising Treasure: Psalm 37:23New Living Translation (NLT)
23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
I think this is one of your top three posts… ever!!!
Wow! I’m smiling from ear to ear, with my eyes filled with good tears! What a victory for you and your family! Way to go, Bethany! And, way to go, Mom and Dad, for raising a child who sees possibilities and not limits!
Thanks so much! I love what you said- we have to see the possibilities- not the limits. I love celebrating her achievements and I’m always struck by the “truth” that I need to celebrate everyone’s successes! (not just Bethany) Life is hard- I want to always encourage or cheer on or applaud someone for a job well done- 🙂 blessings!
Way to go Bethany!!! You are growing into quite the young lady. See you next Sunday, Bethany, in one of your many pretty dresses. Hugs, Earleen
Thanks Earleen- step by step- we’ll journey on! Hugs to you and Carl-praying for continued health!
I love this post so much Cindy! It made me smile and brought me such joy to read it 🙂 I love that Bethany gets such a wonderful sense of achievement and I love that you’re such an encouraging mother and support her to achieve all the many things that she can achieve. Her attitude and fight have a lot to teach us all.
Thanks so much Rachel. When Bethany was born, and we received the diagnosis of down syndrome- I never dreamed how much beauty and treasure would be found on my journey. It’s not always easy, but God is giving me the heart to celebrate His good gifts! hugs =- I can’t wait for you to guest blog for me!
Such terrific insight, Cindy – without the freedom to fail, we won’t experience the joy of overcoming. That explains a lot about our world and our part in it. Good job, Bethany! I’m so happy to see how well you are growing up. 🙂
I love that you always “get” me, Edy! It’s like we’re sisters or something 😉 I think I’ve learned all these things before- but somehow when I learn the lessons with Bethany- they’re more clear and going deep into my thinking. hugs and blessings!
Yes, we are, sister Cindy! 🙂
Love this, Darling Cindy. I have a special needs daughter as well. I guess we are kindred spirits.
Stasia! I thought for sure I had responded to you! Yes- we are kindred spirits and sisters in the Lord! hugs and blessings.