[Tweet “Need #wisdom? #Ask God, who gives generously to ALL without finding fault. James 1:5”]
Parenting- the never ending adventure 🙂
Breathe Cindy, Breathe- after all you have raised 5 other teenagers and survived- ummm I mean thrived. 😉
I know God holds ALL the answers to our problems but sometimes I wish I could just google the answer from Him and get step by step instructions!
But wait! He does say this:Â When you ask me for wisdom- I will pour it out- and I won’t judge you for not knowing what to do!!
[Tweet “God is the only #Perfect #Parent- ask Him 4 help. #parenting #downsyndrome”]
Do you ever feel like you’ve “missed” opportunities to teach your kids about important things? Well- guess what- ALL parents goof up sometimes. There’s only One Perfect Parent and His kids don’t always do what He tells them to either!
But our Heavenly Father doesn’t give up!
[Tweet “Parents: Take #courage- It’s never too late to teach your kids! #parenting #JustDoIt “]
I haven’t felt comfortable or really figured out how to talk to Bethany about boys, dating, and beyond- so I just ignored the ever increasing need for her to know these “things”.
I mean- I know Bethany is “technically” 15 going on 16. I know she is an adolescent- with hormones- I know she wants to get married and have a baby- BUT all these things have seemed to be part of a fantasy role she plays as she watches her older siblings fall in love, get married, and have babies.
I’m NOT READY FOR THIS transition into adulthood with a sweet girl who is naive’ about the full implications of dating, boys, and beyond…. (and it’s obvious to me that Bethany isn’t ready either- in spite of her “confidence”) 🙂 BUT ready or not- hormones, dreams, and desires are here- God- please help!!
Bethany’s phone conversation overheard driving home from school:
“Oh, hi Kylee!
What?
He want to date me?
REALLY?!
“Tell him yes. I love to date. Yes. I think he is hot!” (I want to interrupt her- hot is what coffee should be- not used when talking about the opposite sex!)
I wasn’t calm. I didn’t wait for a “better time”. I broke the rules of communicating with a teen and frantically interjected- “Bethany- who are you talking to and what are you doing talking about dating??!”
Bethany covered the phone and excitedly explained, “I’m on the phone mom. I tell you later- I’m goin on a date.”
Breathe, Cindy, Breathe. 🙂
We got home. I had calmed down. I reminded myself this is a progression of life.  Bethany was hyper focused on one thing: becoming more grown up.
[Tweet “Good #parenting balances the need of their child to grow up and the need to protect them. #teenager”]
“I wanna date boys, Mom.”
“Bethany, in our family, we don’t start single dating until you’re older. But you can do things in groups of kids- boys and girls together. like Youth Group or bowling or school events. Also, Mom and Dad need to be in on your plans- you can’t make plans by yourself.
“But mom! I know what I want. (don’t we all????) I need boyfriend.”
“You’re at the age where you should just have lots of friends– boys and girls!”
“I just want somebody to love me.”
I tell her- “Bethany, you have so many people that love you! And God most of all!”
“But mom!! I need someone special in my heart. Hold hands and kiss lots and get our own house and kids.”
Gulp! HELP! Wisdom here- please!!! An answer is elusive. I do what I do best until I can figure out what to do next. Distract and re-direct. (that is- until I get the wisdom and words to build up and instruct 😉 )
“Hey Bethany, let’s have a girls night out with your sisters and talk about what it was like when they were your age and all the fun things they did with their friends.”
“Yes, Mommy! Can we go to Chili’s and get cheesy fries? I need sister time.”
Redirecting Bethany’s thoughts are like trying to turn a truck with no power steering!
Doable- but oh, the effort and skill it takes!!!! Aha! The power of cheesy fries and sisters!
Surprising Treasures:Â Parents:Â Here’s a great verse to help us keep on keeping on!Â
1 Chronicles 16:11Â Â Â Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face continually.
It likes you said this morning… “Everyone needs someone to love and everyone needs to be loved.” The key for most of us… Bethany included, is to learn how to recognize when we have both already.
I love what you said- The key for most of us- IS TO LEARN HOW TO RECOGNIZE WHEN WE HAVE BOTH ALREADY. We have such a “love” shaped hole in our heart- that constantly needs to be filled with God’s love….. <3
Oh My, my heart nearly stopped!! You handled it well, but I want to know how the girl’s night out went, and if it had a positive impact on Bethy!! Bless her, Lord, with supernatural understanding of what REAL love is!!
Love you, Cindy . . . hang in there!!! ♥
Yes and Amen! Our culture is so saturated with sex, “relationships”, and “romance”. But along with that “negative” message, Bethany has 5 older siblings who model a beautiful, happy marriage with children. But ultimately, at the root- I know that she needs to understand that God’s love is constant and more than enough to fill every longing and need we have! Thanks for the prayers!!!!
And yes- Girl’s night went great- she loves her sistahs 😉 and aunts! But to show you how much she thinks about getting married someday- after the girl’s night out she said to me- “Mom- that was so much fun! When I get married, I’m gonna have Girl’s Night Out at my house and my husband is going to hang out with dad and the boys.” OY
Cindy, we need prayer time and lift this up to our Father. You did very well and remember this is a process. Even in marriage only God can be all we need and somehow we need to get Beth to see that. Love you and know God will show you step by step.